Saturday, February 19, 2011

Why You Might Enjoy having Dinner at My House....Or Not: Two Scenes from a Dining Room

Alexa looks across the table to the buffet where there's an orange soft-drink bottle sitting out.
The label says "Orangina Geisha Peche". ('Peche' is peach in English for all you non-French speakers out there)

"Actually, what is a geisha, mom?"
"Umm...a Japanese hostess?"
She looks at me quizzically.
I try again. "A fancy Japaneses hostess? That serves tea?"
"Really?" asks young Alexa.
"Yeah...well...kinda...." I falter.

Valentine is about ready to die at this point from choked laughter and snorting. (Aren't teenagers fun?!) She decides this has gone on long enough.


"That's just embarassing!" Alexa declares. "I can't believe I even asked!"

"But they serve tea!" I repeat. "And play the harp. Or something" I cleverly elaborate.

"Like Inara on 'Firefly'?" chimes in Mallory, my little geek-girl.

I grab onto this idea like it's the last flotation device on the Titanic.
"Yes! Exactly like that! You've seen 'Firefly', Alexa. A geisha is a Japanese Inara. Or Inara is an outer space geisha. Or something."

"Ok." she says. "But why the heck did thay name a drink for kids that?"

I've got this one covered and answer without hesitation: "Because a soft drink called "Orangina Prostitute" would probably be extremely unpopular. What would that even taste like? Gah!"

I then imagined a marketing campaign for "Ho Cola", but wisely kept it to myself, figuring that the general tone of the conversation had degraded far enough for one evening, thank you very much.


Severin is happily coving his french fries with ketchup.
As he sets the bottle down, he reads the label out loud: "McCords ketchup- the taste of America!"
"So" asks Valentine "Does it taste like America?"

Sev takes a contemplative bite of ketchup-festooned fry.
He chews it slowly and then announces "Why, yes! It does taste like America! It tastes like capitalism...and guns! Yum!"

"You're not supposed to say that!" advises his older sister. "It's supposed to taste like freedom!! Doesn't it taste like freedom? You better say it tastes like freedom, or you're in big trouble, buster!"
We generally eat at about 7, if you're interested.....


Tya said...

LOVE dinner time! ;D

oreneta said...

Isn't it the fries that should taste of freedom?

Ho Cola? I think something could be done with that one.

Teacher Mommy said...

Love it!!!

From what I've learned, truly traditional geishas are in fact more like gracious hostesses--sex is not necessarily part of the deal at all. It was during WWII that the title (and the job) became mutated, mostly due to the presence of American soldiers who misunderstood what geishas were, and then a plethora of prostitutes who were more than happy to take advantage of the misunderstanding.

There you go. A lesson for the day, and a potential topic for tonight's dinner table. :D

Joy said...

*snort* Ho Cola!! Orangina Prostitute!! BWAHAHAHA!! *wipes tears* (This sounds an awful lot like my my 4 sibs and I, when we all get together.)

I'll be there at 7, well, maybe 6:30 so I can help set the table, next time I make it across the Pond. :D

Kelly said...

Yes, Orange Prostitute doesn't sound as enticing for the normal person. As far as what America tastes like...I think apple pie might be it for me or corn on the cob.

Heidi said...

What Teacher Mommy said - according to "Memoirs of a Geisha" (which I understand was very well researched), being a geisha was more about being an elegant, educated woman than it was about the sexual aspect, although many geisha took/take lovers.

but for a drink? Seriously?

America tastes like s'mores, not fries or ketchup.

Christina said...

Mmmmm... ketchup. I spent two years living in the French Alps (Vourey, a tiny little town located not far from Voiron), and one of he things I miss most is ketchup from France.

I always said that the French joke about Americans loving to put ketchup on everything, but when they make the ketchup taste so ... un-ketchup like and good, how can we help it?

I'd pay good money for some ketchup from France!!!