Saturday, May 30, 2009

This may be a blogging first: I am trying to write this post while simultaneously sewing! Impressive, non? (I have added a photo as proof, even)

I expect the Guiness Book of World Records to be calling me up any time now...

I'm serious. I've got the sewing machine set up right beside my computer and am alternating between the two. I'm telling you, it's BUSY around here and this is the only way I'lll get a post up this weekend!

Pathetic, really- but there you go.

So, it's not that I don't have lots of write about. It's definitely not that. Nearly every day I make myself a little post-it full of things I'd like to blog about...but the end of the day rolls around and somehow the post remains unwritten.

What was on my neglected post-its this week?

The first one says "marijuana-flavored soda pop" . I swear. I bet you had no idea I was the kind of degenerate that would offer small children such a thing. Alas, I am. But it was a mistake, I swear!! There is a local soft drink company here that makes lovely blueberry soda with cane sugar. It's in charming old-fashioned glass bottles and also comes in lemon, raspberry, cherry and pine flavors. They're all pretty nice, especially the pine tree flavor. Strange, but nice. Well, the last time I went to buy some, I noticed that they had "chanvre" flavor. It was a pale green color and I thought it must be made of the extract of some quaint mountain plant, such as the gentian. I brought it home and proudly showed it to JP.

"Look!" I said proudly "I have found a local drink made from charming local plant-life of the French Alps" (or something like that)
And he said "It's hemp."
And I said "???" (as I so often do)
He then carefully clarified so that even I could understand "Chanvre is hemp."

Hemp? I have only vague ideas about hemp. Isn't it just cheap marijuana?

Anyway, it was definitely not the kind of local charm I was looking for. I am SO sticking with the pine and blueberry. Marijuana soda is just Not Right somehow...

(Break for setting in the zipper. BRB)

Another of my post-its says "educational toast", in order to remind me of the clever scheme I dreamed up this week that is going to make my family wealthy beyond our wildest dreams. Or possibly not. Ok, probably not. But here's how it came about: I was sitting with my older kids as they ate breakfast one morning, when Sev held up his partially gnawed toast and asked me "What's this?"
"Umm...partially gnawed toast?" I guessed, as it was only 6:15 and I hadn't had enough coffee yet.
"No! It's a country! Guess which one!"

I looked at it again and decided the chewed edges had given it a decidedly hexagonal form.
"France?" I ventured, waking up a bit.
"Right! Try this one!" he said enthusiastically biting it into another shape.

It was actually kind of fun. We were really into it. What a great educational game! You could sell packaged bread, calling it something like "Geography Toast".
And the slogan? "Learn with your loaf!" (just an idea).
Anyway, I had a vision of this catching on- kids using breakfast time to brush up on their geography. This could be BIG!

I looked over at Valentine.
"Ooh! Look Sev! She's made India! Or maybe Texas! Are we doing states? Do states count?"

She said (and this is an exact quote, straight off the original post-it) "Leave me alone, you pathetic freaks. It's just toast, NOT Pakistan. I'm trying to eat here. Gawd." which may indicate that 15 year old girls might not be our target demographic...

I had better stop here. I seem to be doing far more blogging than sewing and this dress has GOT to be finished by tonight. In just over one hour, we are going to church and then a special dinner at the village community hall.

And tomorrow morning, we're heading off to a renaissance faire being held nearby. The girls all want to wear their costumes, so I'd better finish Tya's asap!


babzee said...

Ah, the over-educated housemom putting the PAIN in *pain*. I'm with Tya -- let breakfast be breakfast!

oreneta said...

You are the most impressive multi-tasker I have ever sort-of-met. Alnd I totally love Valentine's comment...may not be the target audience, but they do add humour to it all.

babzee said...

TeacherMommy said...

I'm just impressed you're able to ATTEMPT doing those two particular things at once.

Hemp is from the same plant that produces marijuana, but has no THC whatsoever. Very, very useful plant, actually. When DramaBoy was sensitive to TONS of foodstuffs (including cow's milk, soy, almonds, and rice), we could only give him goat's mild and--wait for it--HEMP MILK. It exists. It is grey. It actually tastes pretty decent, especially when sweetened and flavored with vanilla or chocolate (as it is, mostly, though you can get "original" flavor too). He liked it.

Go figure.

So don't fear the chenvre. I'm willing to bet it not only does NOT taste like pot (not that I would know what that would taste like *ahem*) but is pretty much guaranteed NOT to get them high and suddenly eating everything in sight while giggling.

On second thought, it might, just because kids do that. But not because of the chenvre. Directly.