You know how when you were about 10 years old and your grandma bought you a groovy pink and purple flower-covered diary with an adorable itty-bitty padlock and matching tiny key? And how at first you swore to yourself you'd write in it every single day? And how you did, at first?
But then how you slowly slacked off until you realized that eight months had passed and you hadn't written a word? And how it seemed hopeless to start up again because you'd missed so many vital events and catching the diary up would have been too gargantuan a task to contemplate?
Remember that?
No?
OK.
Never mind.

But I have to say that I find myself in a similar situation here. My beloved (by me, anyway!) blog has sat here unattended as I hosted hoardes (nice hoardes!!) of houseguests, played tour guide, and did some fairly blog-worthy stuff.
And now I have to get it up to date.
Where to begin?

On Friday (June 11th!), as the Auxillary Twins neared the end of their stay with us, three fabulous new guests had to be picked up at the train station. MLW was arriving from NYC, via Paris, with her 18 year old niece and two year old daughter in tow.

(I haven't asked if they want to be pictured on my blog. So all you get today is a back view of Possibly The World's Cutest Toddler.)

Then on Saturday, the parents of the Auxillary Twins arrived. They'd pushed up their trip by one day so as not to miss the concert that Valentine and Sev's band were to play in that night. I thought it was so lovely that they were interested and made the effort! And SO encouraging for Tya, who was quite, quite nervous by then.

Just as these new guest pulled up, JP was off to pick up Tya's godmother and her husband in Geneva. (They are real city-folk and neither one drives) So, the support crowd of fans for The Boxmen was growing by the minute.

I whipped up a little dinner for 15 people (ha!) and then we headed off to the concert, packed into two cars. We would have made the Shriner Clowns proud- we had seats for 12, but 13 people needed to go, so we just piled in and made the 10km drive up the valley, hoping not to see the police along the way.

The concert was primarily for the younger students of the "School of Rock" of our little mountain valley and was held in a small community hall. When we walked into the crowded, tiny building , we easily found the 13 seats at the front that the band had reserved for us at the very front.
As I sat down, Sev came over to me and informed me that he would be SINGING with another band that night.
"Just one song" he said with a feigned casual air. "They asked if anybody knew "Smells Like Teen Spirit", so I tried it with them and it worked. Gotta go now." And he stuck his iPod earphones back in and wandered off.

Talk about surprises!

First the younger groups played (5th and -6th graders). There were a few of my English students from last year. SO cute!
Then the older groups went on. Most of them were pretty decent, music-wise. The only problem was the singing.
Not good. At all.
One young woman's version of "Knocking on Heaven's Door" sounded more like what they must play just outside the gates of Hell.

A certain amount of smirking and groaning went on in the crowd, which I thought was dreadful. Yes, much of the singing was American Idol crazy reject bad, but these were just nervous kids. I smiled from my front-row seat and tried to send mental waves of encouragement and kindness.

And I hoped someone would do the same if my kids or their friends messed up...

The next band consisted of three adults. They played a couple of songs and then Sev came on stage with them, looking hugely tall and gawky in that way only 14 year old boys growing too fast can manage.
But as for stage presence? Chatting with the crowd? Getting a laugh? Sev was all over that. Then he launched into a parody of the famous Nirvana song!
It was so funny- it's really a shame that most of the people there didn't speak English!
"Now I'm mumbling, and I'm screaming and I don't know what I'm singing!"
I'm not saying that he sang it completely in tune. But then, does melody really count in a Kurt Cobain song?
I was just amazed that he was so at ease. And the crowd seemed to love it, despite the language thing. (Most of the groups were singing in English anyway, so everyone was pretty used to not getting the lyrics....)

After a couple more decent groups, The Boxmen came on. And that's when my normally somewhat shy Valentine showed us all that she was born to front a rock band.
I was completely astounded!They sounded GOOD! Really good! Like about 1000 times better than anyone else there. Their music was great, Tya's singing was impressive and they seemed to have FUN! You could really tell that they all like each other and enjoy being together.

"The crowd went wild", as they say. Everyone really seemed to appreciate them and the compliments afterwards were...vastly gratifying!

The best compliments came from their teacher... he was, obviously, SO, pleased with them. He pointed out to me that The Boxmen members are not the youngest kids in the association and are by far the least experienced. Max and Sev (guitar and bass) had never touched an instrument before September! And the drummer only had one year of experience.

On top of that, all of the other groups had been playing together for at least a year or more. But somehow The Boxmen blew them all out of the water. Their teacher is expecting great things next year!

Yes, I did film it.
No, I cannot show it to you.
The recording seems to be lost.
Can't find it on my camera!!!!!

But here's the thing- their great performance earned them a spot at the village music festival! And that's today! And for the event, I've borrowed a decent camera from a friend. So, maybe I'll be able to show you something soon...

It's lucky they're able to go perform today...On Tuesday, their drummer made a wild leap off a picnic table at school, trying to grab cherries off a tree (a common pastime for bored high school students at their lycée (high school), or so Valentine has informed me). He hit the ground, dislocating and breaking his right shoulder.
Ouch.
He's ok now- has to have his arm in a sling for a month and a half...and may need surgery. But at least he didn't break his neck....Could have been worse, as we like to say back in Nebraska.

The Boxmen have recruited their teacher to play the drums, just for this last gig.
And hopefully their drummer will be fully recovered by September...

My poor, neglected computer. The best it’s gotten from me the last two weeks has been an absentminded pat on the monitor as I race by it on my way downstairs at six am every morning.
It’s been getting far more attention from the twins and Severin, who like to stand around and bicker viciously over it like three starving badgers fighting over the last bite of road kill squirrel. My answer to this was (as it is to so many of life’s questions) to make a schedule. So, the twins each get one hour on alternate days and Sev gets and hour per day…which leaves lots of time for other stuff, considering the fact that the kids are on a two week holiday right now.
Sev, resourceful kid that he is, REALLY found something else to do besides stare at a computer screen. He managed to get invited along on a trip to Paris to attend a videogame/manga/anime con (a 'convention' to all you n00bs). Lucky boy! He’ll leave this afternoon and be back on Tuesday.
The twins are also too busy right now to worry much about screen time.
They are:
1. Helping to varnish the wood on the addition to the house and the carport. (Three coats on over 80 square meters. Do the math.) This is mainly what Alexa likes doing. She's quite handy...but, oddly, doesn't like getting her hands dirty.
2. Planting flowers. This is Mallory’s thing, not Al's (see above info re:hands). If it were up to me, our yard would be a barren wasteland, but Mal has got dahlias, anemones, sedum and all sorts of stuff scattered about the place. Very cute.
3. Babysitting what is possibly the world’s cutest two year old. She’s the daughter of some friends who are staying with us right now. Along with their sweet, deaf and half-blind sheepdog, they have come up from the south of France for a working vacation. The emphasis is on the « working » part of that last phrase. Last night I came home from picking up JP in Geneva and Amina and Robert were still varnishing the carport (along with Tya). It was nearly 8pm!

Anyway, the twins adore having Yasmine around and find endless things to do with her. And when she gets tired, she loves it when Mallory gets a pagne and ties her on her back just like her mom does. You should have seen Yasmine’s eyes light up the first time she did it. She hadn’t realized that under all that blonde hair and pale skin, Mallory is secretly Burkinabé.

So, we’re all very, very busy. And it’s sure a good thing I finally broke down and bought an oven, as I’m cooking meals for a crowd lately. It’s SO great to be able to bake again!! It makes life so much easier!! In fact, when I think no one is looking, I like to hunch over it protectively and caress its brushed metal finish while whispering « My preciousssssss ». Unfortunately, Tya caught me at it yesterday and gave me a chastising « Don’t make me throw that oven into the fires of Mount Doom, young lady! » look.

It’s past 7am now and I need to get down the stairs and into the kitchen!! I’ve got to to prepare breakfast and then lunch for 10 today. Last night was couscous with merguez and alloco (fried plantains).

Today I’m thinking chicken and veg curry with rice.
And I’d better make pie. Maybe lemon meringue?

Goodbye for now computer, blog and interwebz pals. Hope to see you all again soon!

I haven't been posting often, as most of the subjects I've wanted to write about seem to demand at least one small photo to illustrate them...and I seem to have picked up a computer virus (?!) that prevents me from using any photos or attachments. At all.
And it's not just with Blogspot- also Gmail and any other site where I try to load my own photos. Very odd.
I've got a computer specialist coming on Thursday night to help me out. I sure hope he can figure out what's wrong and fix it, asap!

As soon as my computer is working right, expect pics and posts about:
The twins' birthday outing in Geneva
The progress on the addition to the house
French comic book characters
Tya's artwork
plus
The twins' 12th birthday party (coming up this Sunday) which will feature a fairy cat cake designed by yours truly. i'm already working on the sketches for it. Could end up being cute. Odd, but cute.

You all HAVE to go have a look at Valentine's latest art project for school.

The assignment was to use photography or video in conjunction with one other art technique (painting, sculpture, whatever) to make a piece portraying a daily activity in a humorous way.

She ended up using a picture of an old Flemish domestic painting and having some fun with it. She changed it up and incorporated pics of our whole family.

I think she did an amazing job, but you should go see for yourselves.

BTW: It would be nice of you to leave her an encouraging comment, too. She likes that.

Today I just spent ages getting together a bunch of photos of the progress on our house, but Blogger isn't letting me post any pics today. This is not the first time this has happened...Any other bloggers out there finding Blogger a bit buggy lately?

Well, it's not like there's nothing to write about. Mallory is feeling very perky again, so that's great. JP is finally coming back from Ouaga on Sunday.

And also: Martha Barnette wrote an email to ME!!!

SRSLY! And no, it wasn't a form letter for a funding drive or something lame like that. It was a very friendly answer to an email I'd sent in...
Wait a minute...
You DO remember who Martha is, right? She, her co-host Grant, and their amazing radio show have made it onto two of my "Top Ten" lists over the last few months(here and here). I'm sure you rushed right to the show website and downloaded many episodes, right?
No?
Go do it now. I'll wait here.
You're back?
Good. Listen to an episode after you get done reading this post. You'll thank me.

Back to the business at hand: Yesterday afternoon I had to go pick up my older kids and a few of their friends at school. As is my custom, I listened to my ipod over the radio (Thank you, Technology Gods!). I was really looking forward to the 20 minute trip because I had a new episode of "A Way With Words" waiting for me. I was not disappointed (never am, actually). Like usual, there were many listener questions called in. One that caught my attention was about the term "swan song". The caller had heard and even used the term many times, but had no idea where it originated. I actually didn't find the answer all that interesting, because I already knew it; (+in case you don't know and have decided not to take my advice to listen to the show: The ancient greeks believed there was a variety of swan that stayed silent its entire life until the very end. Then it would sing a beautiful song and immediately die.
The story was already discredited by Roman times, but the idea stuck around. Shakespeare even used the concept a few times.)
The discussion made me think of a wonderful song that I've performed. In fact, I sang it as part of a quartet in Ouagadougou at the US Embassy. (I'm the one in pink) The Ambassador herself sang the alto part. (She was an excellent singer, too. Multitalented!)
The memory prompted me to jot off this qucik email to the program:
Dear Grant and Martha,

Besides being a fan of your entertaining and educational show, I'm also a fan of renaissance music. When on your most recent program, you discussed the term "swan song", I immediately thought of this beautiful madrigal composed by the great Orlando Gibbons in 1612.

The Silver Swan, who living, had no note
When death approached unlocked her silent throat.
Leaning her breast against the reedy shore,
Thus sang her first and last, and sang no more.
Farewell all joys,
Oh, death, come close mine eyes.
More geese than swans now live
More fools than wise.


Just thought I'd share.

I am a US citizen (born in Nebraska) and currently living in the French Alps with my French husband and four bilingual children. We learn something from every podcast and usually have a good laugh, as well.
Thanks for putting together a great show week after week.
Sincerely,
Beth Jacob

Within about an hour, I got this in my inbox:

Wow, that is really cool. Thanks, Beth! Maybe I’ll share that on a later podcast. And how cool — living in the Alps with bilingual kids sounds fantastic.

Thanks again!

Best,

Martha Barnette
Cohost, "A Way with Words"

I'd been expecting, at best, a canned response "Thanks for your interest" kind of thing and I thought it was VERY amazing that she took the time to write back.

My first reponse was to yell "Hey everybody! Martha emailed me!!!"
This brought all four of my kids stampeding up to my attic office to behold the wonder of it. They were all very happy for me and rather pleased that she thinks that living with them "sounds fantastic" (which it is, mostly).

But Tya was very careful to inform me "Martha is still NOT your friend. You know that right? She is a radio host that you have never met. Don't make her think you are a creepy stalker."

Ah, teenagers. They always know what to say...

The original ending of my last post was the line " Well, at least we still have our health".
I looked at what I'd written and promptly deleted it. I was sure that a bit of snark like that (I meant it sincerely, but it just didn't come off that way) would surely earn me a big smack-down from the Powers That Be.

Apparently, the Powers That Be don't just read the final, published post. They read the draft over my shoulder as I write. (You'd think they could find a better use for their time, but there you go. )

I know this is true because the day after I wrote that and erased it two seconds later, the Powers conspired to make me regret my lack of appreciation for the good health of my family. They did it like this: They put Mallory on the school bus on Monday morning and put it into the other kids' heads not to let her have a seat. (Actually, it's a frequent situation. The older kids put their book bags on the seats and don't let the younger ones sit. The victims are too shy/scared to insist and the driver ignores the problem).
Then the Powers made the child standing at the next bus stop temporarily invisible, so that the driver would only see the boy after he'd passed by and then feel forced to hit the breaks with great force. Their clever plan worked and the sudden stop hurled Mallory backwards onto the floor. The back of her head hit the edge of a step and the blood was impressive. I'm told that every girl on the bus was in tears.
I know all this because Alexa was there, of course. I only got all these details much later, though. The first I heard of it all was at about 8:30 am. The phone rang and when I picked it up, the secretary at the junior high was on the line saying "This is the school. Your daughter wants to talk to you."
A weeping Alexa tearfully told me "Mallory is hurt bad, Mommy".
I, of course, imagined the worst.
The absolute worst.

Then, she told me Mallory had hit her head, there was lots of blood and she was at the hospital.
This was still not sounding good.

I asked to talk to the secretary. And adult could help me out, right? Wrong. The woman knew NOTHING. The kids are only the responsibility of the school once they come in the gate, I was told. The school transport is contracted out to a private company.
So, good luck with that.

Luckily for my sanity, my call-waiting went off just then. It was the doctor at the medical clinic in the town where the school is. She reassured me that Mallory was there, relatively fine, just a bit hysterical and in need of a few stitches .

I got there in a flash and found quickly Mallory by marching through the place yelling her name (btw: Works great! They brought me to her right away!) Mal was huddled on a table, weeping piteously, asking if she was going to die soon. The doctors found her melodrama a bit much. I did my best to calm her down and comfort her. (What worked best was a promise to read "Bunnicula" to her when we got back home.)

She ended up with five stitches and walked out of the doctor's office looking like the victim of a severe disaster. Her hair was matted pink with blood and it was smeared all over her face and covered her coat. And don't forget that half her front tooth had been shattered on Saturday.
She was fairly miserable, but I was just feeling relieved.
I knew we'd gotten off lightly.

I had to do some blog-housekeeping recently and make some changes. Lately, I've been getting all kinds of freaky, annoying spam in my comments section and I finally got tired of sorting through it.

So, now when you comment, you'll have to give an ID and write the funny words in the tiny box.
Sorry.

I wish spammers would...go away on a permanent basis. If I were a less nice person, I'd just go ahead and say they should DIE, along with people who create and send out computer viruses.

Oh, what the heck- who ever said I was nice?

DIE, SPAMMERS, DIE!

You know the computer problems that I mentioned in my last post? The problems turned out to be beyond my capacity to fix. I blamed myself, of course- figuring that my rudimentary skills just weren't up to the task of repairing what was no doubt a very tiny problem.

In fact, it was not my fault at all. The computer genius that I called in to rescue me informed us that my computer was infected by 42 different viruses, one of which completely deactivated my security program.
Very grim.
But all's well that ends well and it all got cleaned out this afternoon.

Result: expect to see more posts from now on!

I'm back and giving this another try ONLY because I talked to my mom on the phone last night (plain old phone-no Skype. SO primitive!). She patiently pointed out to me that Germany is chock-full of people that use German keyboards and they all mostly ok. Really. No reports of mass keyboard-induced insanity are flooding in from the place. So, it only stands to reason that with a bit of time and courage, I too could master the dreaded beast.
And so I have, pretty much.
Thanks, mom!
I'm not saying that this is quick or fun, but I'm managing. And it sure beats being out of touch with all my cyber friends! Thanks so much for the messages of sympathy and support. Your comments, as Garrison Keillor says of Powdermilk Biscuits, "give shy persons the strength they need to get up and do what needs to be done". (Replace the word "shy" with "fearful of German keyboards and very slow, elderly computers" and it fits perfectly.)

The main news to report around here is that we have SNOW! It started in the night as the rain pattering on the roof above my bed suddenly went silent. It was 3am and I thought, "It must be snowing." Then I thought "OMG! I forgot to shut off the water to the outside faucet! It's going to freeze and burst!" This dreadful idea was enough to send me rocketing out of my bed and out into the snowy night wearing my pyjamas. I went down into the cellar and got the water turned off. That was the easy part. I still needed to drain out the upper part of the pipe. This involved kneeling in the snow beside the house, pushing over a large cement drain cover and reaching down into the dark, damp depths to open a spigot at the base of the pipe.
In the light of day in fine weather, this is not an impressively difficult task. But at 3am in a snowstorm, it takes on a certain epic grandeur.
In my opinion.
I guess maybe you had to be there....

I am writing this post on a German laptop, so forgive any errors. The letters are all scrambled and it IS SO SO SO PAINFUL!!!!! bbbAND THE UPPER AND LOWERCASE LETTERS pop in and out WITHOUT NOTICE.

WRETCHED ABOUT COVERS IT.
AND why am i CAMPED OUT IN FRONT OF A PALS COMPUTEr, yOU may well ask

Due to a crazy error on the part of Orange (our internet "server") we have had no internet at home for the last nine days and it will not return until December 11! And considering the fact that this computer is driving me mad, I sincerely doubt Ill be posting much>

I will certainly post the recipe, biut not very soon>>

How can German people stand this torture!!!!!?
NOTHING is where it should be
Poor me. Poor blog.

AARRGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another Awesome List

In keeping with the great "Taciturn Tuesday" tradition, I reduced yesterday's post to complete silence. Which is as taciturn as it gets. So, like, yay for me, right?

It's Wednesday morning and I've just gotten home after driving JP to the Swiss border for his bi-weekly commute into Geneva. I typically enjoy the drive a lot. On the way there, JP and I chat. Then on the way back, I listen to some awesome podcast or another.

But today, I didn't listen to my lastest download. Instead, I pondered this: I love lists. I really do. I usually start my day with a to-do list and then take probably an unhealthy satisfaction in crossing off each item as it is accomplished.

I enjoy responding to the Facebook notes that ask me to name my favorite movies, books, cities, whatever.

And when I read a blogpost in list-form by someone else, I think it's SO interesting, be it "My ten favorite non-prescription medications" or "Forty two reasons not to annoy my cousin Chad".

So, it's very odd that I actually post very few lists on my blog. I think there's just one- the one that gives several key signs that you have lived in Ouagadougou too long.

That being the case, today I present to you no less than TWO lists: What's In According to BurkinaMom and What's Out according to BurkinaMom. These aren't thoughtful and long-considered- they're just some of the things I currently like and some of the stuff I am So Over.

What's IN:

1. A Way With Words - It's like broccolli for your brain, but it tastes GOOD!!!   This public radio show is where Martha and Grant make you smarter in all things English language related and at the same time, show you a good time.  A GREAT time even!!!( I keep telling you to download this show.  DO it!!)

2. Marmite on whole wheat toast- It's like having a big lump of salt for breakfast, which to me is fabulous. Jam is out, yeast spread is in!

3. The song Beth by Ken Flagg - "She never smiles the same way twice and she always gives me good advice." I listen to it almost daily. (Find it on iTunes.)

4. Bella Buttons necklaces. I REALLY want one. I might just have to order one soon and call it an early Christmas gift to myself.

5. Episodes of The Guild on YouTube. - If you have ever played World of Warcraft, or know someone who does, you should give it a try. So funny. Felicia Day is a genius, bless her nerdy gamer heart. I read recently that the show is 'like "Friends" for geeks- only it's actually funny'. Very accurate, IMHO.

6. France- Yes, the entire country. I wrote some mean stuff in a recent post and I am apologising by declaring France Very In. (What I wrote was all true, though.)

What's OUT

1. Chai - I am SO over this. I drank lots in Ouaga and now I can't stand it. Can't say why...

2. 'This American Life' on NPR- This former fave of mine broadcast a few dull and/or lazy episodes last spring and they lost me. 'The Friendly Guy" and "Classifieds" were a couple of the culprits. (This one will probably be back on my 'in' list soon, but not quite yet. I'm still pouting.)

3. Television - You have to watch the programs according to a schedule determined by other people. How lame is that? I don't have the time to mess with it. Until I get TiVo (which in France will be, like, NEVER), I am declaring TV out.

4. Washing windows- I don't mind most housework. Really, I don't. But washing windows has got to be the most frustrating and thankless task of them all. So, washing windows is now officially out. I'm just going to keep the curtains closed 24/7. It's almost winter anyway and curtains keep the heat in, right?

5. The Sex Pistols- I listened to them when I was a kid -who in my generation didn't? But when I hear their old hits these days, all I can think is things like 'Why are they so angry?', 'Why do they have to yell all the time?', and 'Why are they on my childrens' iPods? Isn't this the 21st century?'

6. Couscous- It's like sand, only less tasty. And no, adding raisins doesn't help. I'm never eating or cooking it again, ever. It's out.

It's sadly ironic that a life that a vacation chock-full of fun, outings and general good-times contains SO much material for blogging, but at the same time eats up every moment that could possibly be used to blog about it.
I've missed my blog this last week, but what's a girl to do? After we got back from a great time in Germany, our friends (ex-Ouaga neighbors) T and K arrived from Bamako with their two lovely moppets, Zoe and Francis. They're staying for about a week and we're determined to show them all the nice things there are to see in our part of the French Alps.
And that's a lot of nice things...

Yesterday, we went to Chamonix, took the little train and then the telecabin up Mont Blanc to the Mer de Glace glacier. We went into the ice cave dug into the base of it and it was "cool" in all senses of the word. (I promise some pics asap)

Today, we went to the very beautiful Annecy Lake and spent the day swimming.

I haven't loaded the pictures yet from any of this. All I've got is a few belated photos of our time in Germany. Here, for your viewing pleasure:




My maiden name is Kolb, so I found the "Kolb's Biergarten" extremely entertaining. They make nice schitzel and serve very, very large beers, which is, I guess, par for the course in a German biergarten.

Here's a view of the place.

It was in a town called Worms, which is kind of sad for them.

(Yes, I know you say it "Vorms", but still...)

What really went on in Jurassic Park :

(Apparently, it was WAY more fun than the movie made it look)

And finally, here are the girls and their cousin walking along the Rhine:
That's all I've got today, but I'll try to post again soon...

Sorry about the odd little mini-post earlier today. I had just sat down to the computer for the third time, thinking that this time I would finally get ten uninterrupted minutes in which to post a few pictures. Just as I hit the first key, I heard a knock at the door. I quickly typed a few phrases, hit 'publish' and went down to answer the door.

But now, finally, I really do think I'll manage at least a half an hour of blog-time. So, instead of 'Taciturn Tuesday', you're going to get "BurkinaMom Tells You Everything about Her Life and Illustrates It With Below-Average Quality Photos Tuesday."
Sound good?

I hope so.

Saturday afternoon, at 4pm, I started doing the hair and makeup for the big 'African Dream ' dance recital. It ended up taking me nearly three hours to get the three girls ready to go.

But I was glad they looked great. The show turned out to be a pretty big deal. It was staged at this venue:

Much larger and nicer than the school auditoriums or church basements of my childhood.

The show was about two hours long, but it seemed to pass quickly. When my girls weren't on stage, I enjoyed watching the other dancers, as well as the Malian music group that they'd brought in to play for the show.

It was also amusing to see most of our houshold goods from Africa spread out all across the stage. When I'd heard what the theme was, I'd offered to lend any of our African art they needed: masks, mud cloth, baskets, bronzes, carvings. I figured that someone should get some use out of it all We haven't put up much of our Burkinabe stuff in our home in France because JP (the arbiter of all things tasteful at our house) decided that if we put it all out, our house would look like a very small, crowded museum. He also cited his belief that it would be "showing off" the fact that we lived somewhere other than France. I'm ok with reason #1, but find #2 a bit odd. The only people who come into our home are friends and rumor has it that they already know that we lived for nine years in Ouaga.

Anyhow, for now, the masks and all their friends are living in the garage and only get taken out for special events. Poor things.

Sunday morning, I took the kids to Lake Leman for a swim and to try out our groovy new inflatable boat. We had a picnic and a good time was had by all.

Afterwards, fewer good times were had, as I realised that one of Al's legs was badly sunburned. Yes- one leg was alabaster white and the other was as red as .... a really horrific sunburn. It seems that when I reapplied the +50 spf sunscreen, I must have gotten distracted and put it on her right leg twice. I didn't put any at all on her left one.
I'm SO cross with myself. Poor Al.


Finally-Sunday night, we went to a birthday party. Sev and his pals set up their equipment and...well, you'd almost think, from the photo, that they actually played some music for us.


In reality...not so much.

Sev's garage band in front of an actual garage:

They look good, but it will be fabulous when they can actually play music.

The boys horsed about a good while, finally inspiring our hostess to go in the house, dig out her old flute from her high school days and honor us with a rendition of "Danny Boy". Srsly.

I really hate "Danny Boy" - even when it's played right.

I'm just saying.

Today is, of course, Taciturn Tuesday.
I really had meant to post this sooner, but the electricity went off at 8:30 this morning and didn't come back on until 4pm. That's right- over seven hours of no power. I felt like I was back in Ouagadougou, almost.

I spent the whole day sorting out EVERYTHING in our house: throwing out, giving away, re-packing and carefully labelling. It's seven pm right now and I'm FAR from finished:

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to sleep tonight, as that's my bed under all that junk!

We have raspberry bushes. They are nice:

We have exactly TWO ripe berries so far- one red and one golden.

Here's how the garden is looking now:

The row at the far right is lettuce. There's also potatos, greenbeans , radishes and pumpkins. Then there's cabbages. Too many cabbages. While my neighbors complain that the bugs have eaten their cabbages down to stubs, all 500 of mine (ok- 14) have survived. And I was kind of counting on attrition. Too much cabbage.

And now from the "shall wonders never cease" category:

Yes, it IS an automatic pizza distributer. You put in your Euros and four minutes later a hot pizza slides out of the slot. No pepperoni, olives, mushrooms or other fancy fixings. There's only two kinds: reblochon (a local, rustic-type cheese) or reblochon with bacon bits.

But it seems like the ideal snack to eat with some milk from the automatic raw milk distributer, don't you think?

And now I won't write any more.

Otherwise my post won't be at all taciturn.

For those of you who are not devotees of the genre, a feature found frequently on amateur mom-blogs is "Wordless Wednesday". Every mid-week post is just photos with no text.
I find it a bit dull, to be honest.
Instead, I've created "Taciturn Tuesday".

Here's a pic from the start of Sunday's desperate scramble down to the foot of the cliff.

This is my car. If you come to our corner of France, you can't miss it. I am the ONLY person in the Haute Savoie (possibly in all of France) with a NFP bumber sticker. (Thanks Art!)

This is my garden. I have been too ashamed to post a pic of it because it is so very tiny. I know that my constant complaining must have made it sound gigantic....but it is a dainty little thing. I don't know WHY it's such hard work!

And there you go.

I'm not sure I'll do this again.

But then, maybe I will.

Last month, I resolved to write in my blog more often. As is so often the case with resolutions, it had the complete opposite effect. Within days, the amount of available 'free' time in my life seemed to shrink down to nearly nothing.
I think the main problem is that I didn't consider the effect that springtime would have on my life. I really find it hard to stay indoors in front of a computer while gorgeous, sunny alpine days are waiting for me just outside my door.
The flower beds are looking lovely, but need tending, watering and weeding. Same with the vegetable garden that I finally finished planting yesterday afternoon. (I'd post a picture but I'm a bit ashamed of how small it looks, after all the fuss I've made about it. It's a mere 5 meters square, but it feels enormous when I'm out there trying to chop out the weeds... )

And I feel like I've spent far too much time indoors lately, anyway... I've had to spend hours working on the plans for the small addition we are building onto our house and getting the documents in order for the construction permit. And believe me, French bureaucracy is enough to make anyone completely crazy, especially if French is not your native language.

It was really frustrating and I hated nearly every minute of doing it. It took nearly 12 hours of struggling and cursing in front of my computer to get it all done, all the while snapping at my poor children and my hapless spouse if they approached me.
In short, it was hellish.
I did it myself because we saved 3000 euros by not having an architect take care of it all.

But you know the old Ben Franklin saying "A penny saved is a penny earned"?
Completely NOT true.
NOT paying someone to do this stuff was NOTHING like me doing it and then having someone hand me 3000 euros, saying "Here you go! Good job! Buy yourself something nice!"
Nope, nothing like that.
I'm just saying.

But then, the Benny also said "Admiration is the daughter of ignorance" (What's that supposed to mean? If you admire Mother Theresa or the Pyramids of Giza, that means you're ignorant? Pretty odd assertion, if you think about it.)

Another gem is "Time is money". Frankly, I don't see much real correlation between the two. I know many poor people that have little free time, because they work constantly to earn their small wages. And some have lots of time because they have no job at all. On the other hand, not all (or even many) wealthy people work day and night to earn their loot. Plenty are relatively idle.

And don't get me started on "Never take a wife until thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in." Pretty sick...

But I guess if he's said obviously sensible things like "Admiration is pleasant", "Time is sometimes money, sometimes not" or "Never take a wife unless you mutually respect one another", his Almanack might not have been such a best-seller...

This may be a blogging first: I am trying to write this post while simultaneously sewing! Impressive, non? (I have added a photo as proof, even)

I expect the Guiness Book of World Records to be calling me up any time now...

I'm serious. I've got the sewing machine set up right beside my computer and am alternating between the two. I'm telling you, it's BUSY around here and this is the only way I'lll get a post up this weekend!

Pathetic, really- but there you go.

So, it's not that I don't have lots of write about. It's definitely not that. Nearly every day I make myself a little post-it full of things I'd like to blog about...but the end of the day rolls around and somehow the post remains unwritten.

What was on my neglected post-its this week?

The first one says "marijuana-flavored soda pop" . I swear. I bet you had no idea I was the kind of degenerate that would offer small children such a thing. Alas, I am. But it was a mistake, I swear!! There is a local soft drink company here that makes lovely blueberry soda with cane sugar. It's in charming old-fashioned glass bottles and also comes in lemon, raspberry, cherry and pine flavors. They're all pretty nice, especially the pine tree flavor. Strange, but nice. Well, the last time I went to buy some, I noticed that they had "chanvre" flavor. It was a pale green color and I thought it must be made of the extract of some quaint mountain plant, such as the gentian. I brought it home and proudly showed it to JP.

"Look!" I said proudly "I have found a local drink made from charming local plant-life of the French Alps" (or something like that)

And he said "It's hemp."

And I said "???" (as I so often do)

He then carefully clarified so that even I could understand "Chanvre is hemp."

Hemp? I have only vague ideas about hemp. Isn't it just cheap marijuana?

Anyway, it was definitely not the kind of local charm I was looking for. I am SO sticking with the pine and blueberry. Marijuana soda is just Not Right somehow...

(Break for setting in the zipper. BRB)

Another of my post-its says "educational toast", in order to remind me of the clever scheme I dreamed up this week that is going to make my family wealthy beyond our wildest dreams. Or possibly not. Ok, probably not. But here's how it came about: I was sitting with my older kids as they ate breakfast one morning, when Sev held up his partially gnawed toast and asked me "What's this?"

"Umm...partially gnawed toast?" I guessed, as it was only 6:15 and I hadn't had enough coffee yet.

"No! It's a country! Guess which one!"

I looked at it again and decided the chewed edges had given it a decidedly hexagonal form.

"France?" I ventured, waking up a bit.

"Right! Try this one!" he said enthusiastically biting it into another shape.

It was actually kind of fun. We were really into it. What a great educational game! You could sell packaged bread, calling it something like "Geography Toast".

And the slogan? "Learn with your loaf!" (just an idea).

Anyway, I had a vision of this catching on- kids using breakfast time to brush up on their geography. This could be BIG!

I looked over at Valentine.

"Ooh! Look Sev! She's made India! Or maybe Texas! Are we doing states? Do states count?"

She said (and this is an exact quote, straight off the original post-it) "Leave me alone, you pathetic freaks. It's just toast, NOT Pakistan. I'm trying to eat here. Gawd." which may indicate that 15 year old girls might not be our target demographic...

I had better stop here. I seem to be doing far more blogging than sewing and this dress has GOT to be finished by tonight. In just over one hour, we are going to church and then a special dinner at the village community hall.

And tomorrow morning, we're heading off to a renaissance faire being held nearby. The girls all want to wear their costumes, so I'd better finish Tya's asap!

What did my eldest daughter think of our Paris holiday?


If you'd like to know, check out this post on Tya's blog, where she informs us that the Mona Lisa is 'not all that' and generally gives the low-down on the City of Lights.

I just spent a long and virtuous morning cleaning out the garage.
Well, some of the garage.
But our garage is so big and so messy that cleaning even just the front half is quite an accomplishment. But I had to do it. Just yesterday, I wrote on Facebook that cleaning out the garage is my "least favorite household chore". So, to prove to myself that I'm not a shirker and all-around lazy whiner, I made myself get out there and have a go at it.

But you don't really want to hear all about my garage. Trust me. So, send your words of thanks to fellower blogger TeacherMommy, who has tagged me for a new meme.

While some may consider them a plague, I rather enjoy them. It's fun to read other people's answers and concoct my own. There seem to be three main styles of answering:
First of all, you have the bloogers from the Short and Sincere school. Their answers are succinct, factual and...maybe a teensy bit dull.
Then you have the Economically Witty people. The ones that can come up with a very funny twist in just a few well-chosen words. This is the hardest to achieve. I have occasionally aspired to it, but fallen short.

And finally, there are the Out of Control Ramblers. They's my peeps. We are the ones who tend to use each question as an excuse for a good two or three paragraphs of exposition.
Sounds good?
Great! Here we go:

1. What are your current obsessions? I just discovered Project Runway and am watching it on dvd. It's fabulously addictive, so I watch episode after episode after episode... It's out of control.
I'm also out in the yard an awful lot, doing the gardening thing. I don't know if I'm really 'obsessed' with, say, weeding the flower beds, but I seem to be doing a lot of it and no one is making me...so I must really like it.

2. Which item from your wardrobe do you wear the most often? Our lovely old house is cold inside all year long, from the height of summer to the depths of winter, even with the heat turned all the way up. I deal with this by wearing my favoite bright green fleece jacket. It is, quite possibly, the ugliest jacket in the entire world. But at least it allows me to get on with my day and not torment others with constant cries of "It's so COLD in here!" as some people do. "Some people" would be my beloved spouse, who stalks through the house looking fetching in black track pants and a black t-shirt, as though he's sauntering through the streets of Cannes on a sunny day.

3. What's for dinner? Dumplings and potatos in sour cream sauce, a dish that I can make in my sleep and blindfolded with both hands tied behind my back. It's a dish from my childhood, learned at the side of my Grandma Lillie and my mom, who probably had to learn to make it before my dad was allowed to marry her. My paternal great-grandparents were all Volga Germans that immigrated to Nebraska. So, in my family the ethnic foods were things like glace (the aforementioned dumpling dish), grebble (doughnut-type pastries) and runzas ( meat and cabbage in a bread pocket). The latter is such an institution in my home state that there is actually a Runza fast-food chain...and it's really good! Not as good as my Grandma Lillie makes, of course...

4. Last thing you bought? That would be three huge tubs of sour cream (creme fraiche, actually)purchased up in the village mini-mart in a frantic just-before-closing-time shopping trip. At 6:48 last night, I realized that the next day would be a holiday and all shops would be closed then. And I had to have creme fraiche for the next day's dinner (see #4)

5. What are you listening to? Right this moment I am listening to the twins bicker over their elaborate Playmobil scenario. As far as I can tell, Alexa seems to be hindering the expansion of Mallory's farm with her "big butt", which is right where the new goat pen is supposed to go.

6. If you were a god / goddess what would you be? I'd be the deity of books. Yes! Beth the Book Goddess...that works. NOT the goddess of literature, mind you. Too fancy-schmancy for me. Bring me your recipe books, airport novels, French-English dictionaries...whatever, and I'll bless them with showers of sparkly fairy dust for you. But you must bring me tribute. ..Yes! Much tribute! Cash would be good, but Crispy Creme doughnuts will also be accepted in lieu.


7. Favourite holiday spots? Paris, where else? I'd never want to live there (unless I suddenly became very, very wealthy and could afford a house there), but I love getting off the train, dropping off my bags at a friends' house in a lovely guest room and going off to enjoy the museums, monuments, movies and other things, some of which don't even start with the letter 'm'.

8. Reading right now? The Terror by Dan Simmons. It's a 936 page novel based on the real-life, doomed Franklin Expedition that set out to find the Northwest Passage. I am a fan (is it weird to say that?) of early polar exploration expeditions, so this caught my eye. It's long, but I'm finding it riveting...

9. Four words to describe you? blondish, bookish, brainy-ish and bloggish

10. Guilty pleasure? NA. If it makes me feel guilty, I don't get any pleasure out of it. On the other hand, there are some things that I like that I'm a bit ashamed of. But I don't feel guilty about them. Take LOL Cats. I love them. Srsly. I check the site nearly every day and always have a good laugh. But it's awfully embarrassing to admit that I'm crazy about pictures of spelling-impaired kitties. So, I mostly don't talk about it. Shhhhh....


11. Who or what makes you laugh? See #10. But mainly my family. Special faves are: Sev singing me Wierd Al Yankovic songs, Alexa doing her crazy African dances, Mallory talking in her Stitch voice, and Valentine snarking on whatever target comes within range . Good fun.


12. Favourite spring thing to do? This is my first real spring after nine years in Africa and I am finding it very beguiling. I tend to go out and wander in the yard, sniffing the hyacinths, admiring the bright, fluffy grass, inspecting the apple blossoms.... it's so beautiful and clean and amazing. Go spring!

13. Planning to travel next? No definite plans. But we do have an the use of a friend's house up in Brittany for the first two weeks in July. I'm thinking about it....And in the second half of July, our friend's Paris house is empty and available to us. Then in August, I can go to Germany and visit my cousin Mike....
No. No definite plans, but lots of possibilities.

14. Best thing you ate or drank lately? Lotus Speculoos spread!! It's Heaven in a Freaking Jar, people! Think spreadable cookie dough.

15. Last time you were tipsy? It's been so long that I can't even remember. Or does that mean that I'm drinking so much that my memory is going? I just don't KNOW!

16. Favourite ever film? Just one? Pretty tough. Today, I'll say Meet Me in St Louis, but The Sound of Music and The Wizard of Oz are equally adored.

17. Biggest life lesson you've learned from your kids? In Disney films, there is often a heartwarming lesson along the cloying lines of "Home is where the heart is" . It's unoriginal and trite because it's true, but I didn't know that until I had children and moved from Switzerland to France to Africa and then back to France. My kids like people outside their family, but don't need them. No matter where they are, they tend to stick together, circle the wagons and get with the cocooning. If they are with each other, they have everything they need (even the occasional stress-relieving bicker-fest).
I only had one brother, so I never knew the power of the pack. It's amazing.

18. Song you can't get out of your head? "Elle a des yeux revolver" Ignore the cheesy video (It's from 1985. What can you say?) Just close your eyes and listen.

19. Book that you absolutely love and want to encourage everyone else to read, too? Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage by Alfred Lansing.

Now to pass it on: first off, I'll tag Tya, who REALLY needs to write in her blog. (Do you hear me young lady?)? I'll also tag Reb , Joy and Pardon My French , as well.
I'll leave it at that. Some of my blog pals hate these things, some don't have the time and some have private blogs, so I can't tag them.

(Rules of the meme: Respond and rework. Answer questions on your own blog. Replace one question. Add one question. Tag 8 people. )

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about some of the keywords that have led people to my blog.

Some folks type something like "how to wrap a pagne" into their search engine and end up, probably reasonably satisfied, on a page showing how to wear a West African style skirt. There's pictures, even!

And I'm pretty sure that whoever typed in "stripping wallpaper fragile plaster" also found plenty of relevant reading on my blog.

However, some of the keywords, are more than a little puzzling. I check them at least once a week, just to marvel and muse.

Here are a few of the more unusual entries on last week's list:
bureaucracy gone mad -I wonder what kind of hell this person was going through that led them to seek fellow sufferers on the web? Maybe he tried to apply for a Famillie Nombreuse card and is now looking for a support group?

i hate working in France - Again, I'm guessing this is someone whose misery would love some company. I wonder where he/she works? Liddl?

jp sunbonnet- Once I got over the mental image of my dignified spouse wearing a sunbonnet, I tried my own search using these keywords. All I got was lots of mentions of a quaint, really annoying quilt block design. The original searcher must have gone through pages and pages to finally stumble upon a link leading him to a post in my blog that mentions both protective headgear and my husband.

Here's my favorite of the week: hotsexgoddess- Not a shoe that fits, but I'll put it in my closet. Thanks!

And my least favorite: LARGEBLONDE. I have to own it, but ouch, dude!